Now YOU write a Wish. Imagine that!

Posted in It'll take 15 minutes and you'll feel 1 zillion times better for it on December 9, 2008 by sogoodsoright

Now taking all entries for Fonky Chrissmalc Wishes…

0-500 words (or thereabouts)

No limitations on brain, body or soul EXCEPT

choose an alter ego/pseudonym/pen name for yourself and write with that.

email sfonkson(at)

and include a little introduction, and any of your own shit you want to publicise, if you want to.

Malcolm J. Z. Sfonkson



16. Hot damn, TWO guest writers in clab ray shun…

Posted in Uncategorized on December 17, 2008 by sogoodsoright

Hickorius and Mallum Dae sellotaped me to my Sproutfest cushion-adorned stool and forced me at spoonpoint to type up their superior inventive stylings.

It’s my guests’ Fonky Chrissmalc wish, number 16, to be find as per Euge Yule in the infamous ‘Pages’ section….

…just try over there —> —> —> —>

The wish is called ‘Remember When We Met’.

As for you, I remember meeting you in some warm room with a radio playing. What was the song? I  don’t remember of course… I was too busy looking at that thing you have on your chin… Oh never mind.

If you have experienced any emotional reaction whatsoever to these writings why type some catswank of your own in the various comments boxes


Bit late to start moaning now, but..

Posted in Notes on December 16, 2008 by sogoodsoright

…Actually, what’s the point?


So you devote some time to a hobby or a blog

So you get a little scared when you see some neighbour’s dog

So you work in a place with a little reward, a little pay

So you have a lover, and send a text message every day

So you see other people and sometimes you feel sad

But you eat in restaurants, and that isn’t so bad


Sometimes you start to feel glum, one reason or another

Your neighbour’s dog annoys you and your mother and your lover

You complain a little on your blog, and then your mobile phone

But you love restaurants too much, and don’t like being alone

You love good supermarkets too much, and don’t like being alone

You love the internet too much, and don’t like being alone

You love things being done for you and you don’t being alone

You love not needing to really try, you’d rather not be alone


You are alone

nobody knows what you’re thinking

And in a hundred years, you’ll be dead.


Sort your life out and decide what you want to do. Don’t let those “faceless soulless entities” decide for you. (They’re more than willing). The choice, as they say, is yours.


Similar vibes for Wish number 15, pages section, over on the right hand side

—–>  ——->  ——>

Tomorrow, more eshcapism – a new guest author. Praise ye Jah, it’s a sizzla.



14 cornflakes flakin’ and an EXCLUSIVE GUEST WISH in a pear tree!

Posted in Notes on December 14, 2008 by sogoodsoright

Excellent news!

For My Very Own Fourteenth Fonky Chrissmalc Wish, two weeks after my word-filled waters broke at, I prezent to thee and thine possibly my favourite Sproutfest treat since the whole thing started…. Too fucking bad it’s not one of my own….

Even more dodge is the fact that it’s the very first…

VOMAN to grace these ripe pixels..

So all the Vomans out there, read wish number 14: “[Untitled Poem]” by Annon Sic and be inspired, insulated, introvenus; strip down to your Henriettas and channel your garrulous Voman juice into some absorbant, ever expanding Sproutfest Leeet Raaar Chaaar.

While you’re at it, go enfind Sfonkson a Voman of his own… He needs one most of all after reading pornographic materials like Annon Sic’s poem.

Sod off n read it and see how shite everyone else is – wish number 14, somewhere over there in the ‘Pages’ section———->——->

M. Sfonkson 14-12-08, Jo’burg

13th (EXCLUSIVE) Wish – only unlucky for those who don’t like cheesifestos

Posted in Notes on December 13, 2008 by sogoodsoright

Zinging into my mail-potty one rancid day last week came our 13th Fonky Chrissmalc Wish, submitted on the yet-quivering dissected tip of a Pizza Cheesestring muncher’s tongue.

The Wish is called ‘Revolution’ and can be found in the ever-expanding list of Sproutfest goooood tidings over here in the ‘Pages’ section —-> —> –>

I thought I was the first to receive cheese manifesto but it turns out Sir David Attenbrough dallied with the author a Few years back…

I caught up with Britain’s treasured gorilla stroker in some Miami bass night in Hartlepool and grilled him about it:

Davidos Maximos, previously known as the Free Fromage, has a long and impressive history of self-important monologues, to which few individuals – animate or otherwise – pay attention. It is unfortunate that he is not larger than 14 inches in height for were it otherwise, some people may actually take him seriously. But they don’t. However, it may be that his vision of paletary domination may become a reality. After all, stranger things have happened. For instance, a man who shares a surname with a woman’s naughty bits was president, and there are robots doing wheelies on Mars. Don’t rule anything out, is my advice.


Tomorrow – more guest shenanigans

Who is Jurgen Strapp? And why is his Chrissmalc Wish so gosh darn fonky?

Posted in Notes on December 11, 2008 by sogoodsoright

Proverbially Banging!

Only 15 days till Sprout fest… 15 more of my Fonky Chrissmalc Wishes… and best of all, this time an experienced prawn has spunk forth some grade A electronic, psychologic, catatonic LitRaChar.

So who is Jurgen Strapp? And why is the oversized munchkin having his ‘Christmas at the Beach’?

We here at the Sfonkson cellar have been racking our bran trying to get some Ready Brek off the Germanic prose purveyor, and while were at it grilling him for info about his true identity…

All may be revealed at wish 11, ‘Christmas at the Beach’,the ‘Pages’ section over there ——–> to the right.

Gonav a goosie!

EXCLUSIVE: Fonky Wishes of the people!

Posted in Notes on December 10, 2008 by sogoodsoright





This morning  I received a greasy triangle of toast in my mail cauldron… expertly engraved through the medium of Sproutfest Hope an’ Joy was the 10th Fonky Chrissmalc Wish, ‘In The Asylum’…!!!!!  – which I present TO you JUST a few inches to the right of the screen ——>  ——->

This is the site’s first poem,

and the poem is a sex train. If you enjoy this sort of thing you might equally want to wipe your see balls over Anthony Richardson and his blog at

Enough about that clown here’s the ‘In the Asylum’ author to interpret…

My name is Mark. I don’t have a surname. I wrote a poem about when my friend and I lived in a cupboard in a mental asylum for a little while. He does all the talking. This is about the only talking I get to do. We found this woman and thought she might like to hang out with us in the cupboard for a bit. I think we scared her.


——>  ——-> ——-> ——-> ——-> (number 10)